


deep secrets

by aaxbbxx



Series: Written in The Stars • ASTRO oneshots [63]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: M/M, daddy/baby boy dynamic, no hate please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:46:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: Jinwoo has a secret. One that he had hidden deep inside of him lest anyone knew the leader of Astro, a freak.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Series: Written in The Stars • ASTRO oneshots [63]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323767
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	deep secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Faeradam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faeradam/gifts).

> If you are uncomfortable with the daddy/babyboy dynamic, please do not read! This is just for fun, and I don't tolerate hate. If it's not within you're comfort zone, please feel free to step out from reading this. 
> 
> to my soul sister :* you know who you are!

Jinwoo has a secret. One that he had hidden deep inside of him lest anyone knew the leader of Astro, a freak. 

Deep down, Jinwoo knew he wasn’t a freak. But all his life, he had to hear about the wrongness of having this feeling. When you hear it so often, it embeds into your mind that you yourself is wrong for thinking of it. So he kept it hidden. 

For years, he hid himself so well. Never speaking about it, never mentioning it. The reason why he only ‘dated’, if he can even call it that, was to bury what he was deep into the darkest pit of his mind. But it caught up to him and lately it was all he could think. Add that to the stress of being a leader of a rising kpop group and having schedules left to right, it was taking a toll on him.

It wasn’t a kink. Though for most people it might be. When he thinks about it, the word at the tip of his tongue, he cringes, not familiar with the taste of it.

_ Daddy _.

It was one word but it held a lot of weight. Some people might think of him weird, might even find him disgusting. But he always had this deep sense of longing for a _ Daddy _. 

Now, why would he? As fans would like to call it, he himself is a _ daddy _ , with his sultry gaze, toned body, it was no wonder why some people would call him that in jest. But like he said, it _ wasn’t _ a kink. It was more than that.

Jinwoo just wanted to be taken care of. He just wanted to become a little one again, with no problems in the world. He wanted to be cuddled, wanted to be tucked in, wanted to have that feeling of having someone love you and care for you without having to hold himself back from who he was. Because that was who he was.

A babyboy.

But he can’t have that. Not now, not ever. Especially when the one person he wanted to be his daddy was off limits. 

* * *

  
  


Jinwoo frowned, feeling a headache come on. He just wanted peace and quiet. That’s all he wants, was that too much?

_ “Jin Jin hyung, why can’t you just change the lyric?” _

_ “Jin hyung, we need more than just the step sequence for the song!” _

_ “Jin Jin hyung, have you talked to the company about the album yet?” _

_ “Hyungie, why are you so slow today?” _

_ “Jin-ah, did you even set up the meeting?” _

Everything was suddenly so much, and the thin shred of patience was gone.

“Shut up!” Jinwoo stood, breathing heavily and everyone froze. Jinwoo never loses his calm, the reason why he was the perfect leader and everyone suddenly felt guilty. The leader heaved a breath, breathing in and out rapidly. “Just, shut up, okay?! I get it! I’m slow! I get it, I’m not doing things right enough! Okay? I get it!”

Jinwoo stared at them passively, feeling nauseous and like he was about to break down. Because he was. The others didn’t let out a sound, too shocked to react. So taking this as his chance, he escaped, grabbing his coat off the bench and exiting the practice room as fast as possible.

Jinwoo walked around with no destination in mind. It was late into the night but all he wanted was to get away from everyone as much as possible. Suddenly, everything became too much and he couldn’t handle anymore. He knew he was weak, he knew he wasn’t good enough, but today was just the last piece of straw and he had to get out before he breaks down in front of them and add more to the list of himself not being the perfect leader Astro deserved.

So he walked, and he walked, and he walked. Until he reached the part of town and entered into the first building he saw. A bar, just perfect.

As soon as he got in, he ordered a beer, but he didn’t have it within him to drink just yet. He sat on the barstool and just gazed at the beer in the pint. He wondered why he was still part of Astro when he couldn’t even handle the simplest of things. 

“How’s my baby doing?” 

Jinwoo stiffened when he heard, then he tilted his head towards his right, as much as it was wrong, and listened in on the conversation. His curiosity was too much.

“Not so good, daddy.” This time, Jinwoo felt himself go rigid, the word triggerring something in him.

“Then, we can just go home and Daddy will take care of you, huh sweet? Let’s go.”

When the couple left, two men at that, Jinwoo felt himself shake. The emotional stress of not just what happened today, but the psychological emotions that overtook him that he had suppressed for years, finally getting the best of him. He felt a tear slide down his face before he went and roughly wiped the traitorous tear and chugged his beer to the very last drop. He will not cry. So he went with next best thing, alcohol.

“Five shots of vodka,” Jinwoo called out to the bartender and took his wallet and grabbed a handful of bills, “and keep it coming.” The bartender only nodded, not blinking an eye about a man getting drunk, he had enough of that scene everyday, Jinwoo was not the first and certainly not the last.

As Jinwoo kept drinking, he felt all the worries go away, he felt lightheaded without care in the world. He could care less about the consequences he was gonna face, he was just riding the relief the alcohol brought him because he knew it wasn’t going to last. He had twelve shots of vodka by then and moved back to drinking beer, and the effects were getting to him. He probably looked like a lunatic, laughing to himself one second and staring at nothing the next. But he felt good, in that moment, he felt free. 

Jinwoo wasn’t sure how much time has passed, but he knew he was definitely more than just drunk. He cradled the pint of beer towards him, his head down on the table. No one minded him much, he was glad. He giggled, _ if he had a daddy, he would be in sooo much trouble, but then daddy would take care of him too _ . Then he frowned, feeling sad all of a sudden. _ But he didn’t have a daddy, never would. _ He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling empty and just so _ so _ sad.

“How long has he been here?” Jinwoo frowned, hearing a familiar voice. He swore he knew that, but he was too drunk to know who it belonged to, but it sounded angry. He giggled.

“I don’t know, man, two hours? I’m not really keeping count. He had vodka shots earlier and beer. But I stopped giving him alcohol two drinks back, he probably didn’t even notice he’s drinking water, he’s so out of it. ” The bartender’s voice felt far away, but Jinwoo could still understand some of it. He wonders who they were talking about.

“Fuck, thanks man.” The voice spoke again, this time much closer. Then, a hand came atop his shoulder, soft and gentle. “Jinnie?”

Jinwoo opened his eyes blearily, everything blurred so he couldn’t quite see who was in front of him. “Huh?”

“Jinnie, hey let’s go home okay?” The hand came around his shoulder and pulled him up against a firm chest. 

Jinwoo frowned at the thought of _ home _, “Nooooooo, want to stay. Nobody wants meee.” Then he struggled to get away from the arms wrapped around him.

“_ Oh, Jinnie _,” he was pulled back from his struggling. “Of course someone does, let’s go home and lemme take care of you, okay?” The person nuzzled close to his head, letting the smell of comfort waft into his nose and he felt calm and now he just wanted to go home and be taken cared of. Jinwoo was so out of it, he didn’t even notice the way the person stiffened when he answered.

“Okay, daddy.”

With that, Jinwoo was knocked out cold. And everything after was out of his mind.

* * *

  
  


Jinwoo groaned, the pounding headache killing him instantly as soon as he opened his eyes. The familiar sheets of his bed getting into focus as he looked around. He wondered how he even got home. 

He hated alcohol, why the hell did he even drink.

“Shit, what the fuck happened?” He whispered to himself as he sat up in bed, noticing a glass of water and some painkillers ready for him to take. He took those right away, and leaned against his headboard, trying to think.

“_ Okay, daddy. _”

“Fuck!” Jinwoo’s eyes opened in horror. He might have been drunk, but a blessing was how he remembers everything that happens when he drinks right before he passes out for the night. Now, though, it was more of a curse.

He remembered drinking at the bar, getting so intoxicated that he almost decided to sleep there, but not before someone came to pick him up. That someone, now that he was sober, he could remember the smell and feel anywhere. That someone who he just called _ daddy _ . That someone who he wanted to call _ daddy _ for years. That someone being…

“Myungjun.” He said it outloud, staring at the bed in shock.

“Yes?”

Jinwoo’s head snapped up so fast, seeing the man in question standing by the doorway. How he didn’t notice, as beyond him. But judging from Myungjun’s face, he knew what Jinwoo just realized just then. The eldest held eye contact with him, closing the door behind him and locking it.

“We need to talk.”

* * *

“Look–”

“I–”

They both started at the same time, immediately stopping. Jinwoo flushed before he gestured for the older to speak first. Myungjun smiled softly.

“Look, we’re sorry. I’m sorry, okay? We know it’s not easy being the leader, with so much burden to carry and so much responsibilities piled up. Sometimes we forget that because you make it look so easy. We forget that you’re not superhuman, and get stressed too. So, I’m sorry. The dongsaengs are too, but they would probably have their own begging to do later.”

“Hyung, it’s fine–”

MJ shook his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “No, it’s not. We made you run away, and made you think you weren’t good enough. It’s _ not _okay. Jinwoo, you’re probably the best leader any group could ask for. You have so much patience with all of us, it made us wonder how you can still manage to smile and not run for the hills.”

Jinwoo giggled despite the fact he felt close to panicking. MJ just had that effect on him.

“But please, next time, don’t run away?” MJ reached a hand out and clasped his hand. “It scared me to think where you went, in the middle of the night too. I had to do some hacking skills to track you with your phone.” Jinwoo looked shocked and the elder waved a hand. “Don’t even ask. But I’m just glad I saw you, safe. _ Drunk _, but safe.”

When MJ mentioned him being drunk, he felt himself stiffen. The events of last night clear on his mind. He felt fear rising in his throat, nausea threatening to manifest itself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It was a mere whisper but it felt so loud. Jinwoo’s hands felt clammy, still clasped in Myungjun’s own.

Then, he got scared and scared Jinwoo, lashed out. He took his hand away, and angrily said. “That what? That I’m a freak? That I’ve had this disgusting feeling? For someone that’s basically family? For someone who doesn’t deserve a nervous wreck? For someone–”

Jinwoo didn’t get to finish because his mouth was occupied. He felt his eyes widen, as Myungjun kissed him hard on the lips to shut him up.

Myungjun pulled away, a disappointed look on his face making Jinwoo let out a whine. The elder’s eyes twinkled. “Park Jinwoo. You. Are. Not. A. Freak.” 

“But–” Myungjun shook his head.

“No, and don’t call your feelings disgusting either. To tell you the truth, I’m quite happy.” Myungjun suddenly smiled, “I’ve had these feeling buried deep inside of me, you know. I never quite knew what to do with it. Then I met you. This strong feelings just wouldn’t subside, and I was scared to admit it because I might scare you away. I wasn’t even sure if you liked me, and this one was more than that.”

Jinwoo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It felt surreal. With the way Myungjun was looking at him, and his fingers trailing down his face softly, making him want to just nuzzle it.

“But last night, when you called me that,” Jinwoo blushed beet red, but Myungjun kept his gaze, “It shocked me but it also made me feel happy. Because the way I looked at you, the way I _ hoped _ you would look at me, was actually real and I could have it.”

“R-really?” Jinwoo whispered, biting his bottom lip. Myungjun’s eyes went to it before snapping back to his own and nodded. He didn’t know what made him say it, but Jinwoo did. “_ Daddy _?”

Myungjun froze before letting a huge smile take over his face, this one full of love and endearment. “Yes, baby.” Then he reached out and pulled Jinwoo to him, letting the younger sit on his lap.

Jinwoo never thought he would get to have this. That he would get to feel this.

“I’ve loved you for years.” 

Hearing that just made his heart clench in relief. “I love you too.”

* * *

  
  


After that day, everything went back to normal. The dongsaengs apologized for their behaviour and Jinwoo was back to being himself, with minor changes of course.

Jinwoo finally had his daddy. 

Jinwoo and Myungjun decided to keep it to themselves, not because they fear what the other members think, but because they thought it would be best to just have this between themselves. Something to call their own only. 

Of course nothing really changed much in their dynamic, because Jinwoo realized, Myungjun had already been doing what he wanted and needed for so long, this time he can just officially call the other his daddy. He realized, MJ already takes care of him, especially when he feels highly stressed, or just feeling sad. He realized all those cuddling sessions was not just between members but something more. He realized all those times that Myungjun would call out to him with his high-pitched voice for “_ Jinnie! _ ”, he didn’t mind because the elder would greet him with such a huge smile before pulling him in for a hug or dragging him off for an impromptu lunch out. He realized, all this time he really did have Myungjun as his _ daddy _. And he couldn’t ask for anything more.

Another thing added to their dynamic aside from Jinwoo calling him _ daddy _, when the others aren’t around was Myungjun’s own name for him. The first time the other let it slip, he had sheepishly explained that he always wanted to call the leader that because Jinwoo was just one giant cuddly and soft human being that it seemed fitting. Jinwoo only blushed and smacked his shoulder but deep inside he loved it, hence why he didn’t mind being called that by his daddy at all. Just like now.

Jinwoo heard familiar footsteps outside the bedroom door. He knew the others wouldn’t be home until late, and so it only meant one person was home.

He heard his Daddy Myungjun walk into the room and calling out, “Where’s my baby bear?” 

He let out a soft giggle as he peaked out from underneath the blankets with his smile so bright his eyes disappear. “Hi Daddy!”

**Author's Note:**

> WAAAAAAA my first time to write a daddy/babyboy au, omg im blushing, but i went with the soft side of things instead of the usual kinkiness that usually involves this theme..
> 
> my soul sister and I had just a random convo, and thus this was born!
> 
> I KNOW I KEEP SAYING I AM ON HIATUS BUT THIS WAS A LAPSE OF JUDGEMENT AND THEREFORE I WILL BE BACK ON HIATUS UNTIL THE 18TH GOODBYE NOW


End file.
